January 30, 2008

Slacker and the big mistake

Yes, it's been quite a while since my last post here. Alot has happened since then.

The Patriots won the AFC Championship, and are set to win the Superbowl this Sunday! (GO PATS!)

I have lost a total of 5.5 lbs, and have made strides at the gym. (GO ME!!)

Today is Noah's 4th skiing lesson, and he will be graduating to the chair lift. In addition to that, he's been managing his blood glucose beautifully, both on and off the slopes. (GO NOAH!!!)

On the d-tip...at the risk of sounding like a total idiot, here's the story of what happened when my mom had Noah overnight so my husband and I could go out on a hot date. Yes, a real date with a movie and dinner and staying out late and a martini...

Ok, so on to the stupid thing I did:

My mom and I were planning Noah's dinner carbs for the evening and I wrote down measurements and counts for the chicken,broccoli & ziti she was planning to make.
"Is this pasta measurement for dry or cooked"? my mom asked.

"huh? It's the same, right"? I replied, uneasily. My mother is my family's Martha Stewart, and it automatically made me nervous that I didn't have the food knowledge she wanted to hear.

"The pasta...it's 1/2 cup dry, right?" now she's grabbing her glasses and the box to check.

"Mom, I don't have a clue. It's ziti, so it doesn't change it's shape or anything so I just assumed...."
I couldn't even finish. Most of the time, I can laugh at my mistakes and brush it off as a lesson learned, but not this time. This time was about my kid, and his health. I knew that what I had been doing all along was wrong, and it hit me in such a weird way. I started to cry and got mad at myself. How stupid am I that I don't know things like that practically double in size when they cook? I thought back to all the dinners and the carbs I counted incorrectly, and felt like ...

a failure.

"Now you know", my mom said. I immediately snapped out of it. Those 3 words meant so much.

They didn't just mean "now you know", they meant: "all good moms make mistakes", and "you do a good job, you can't be perfect all the time".

Thanks mom, for saying all the right things.

January 4, 2008

Fresh Powder

I made my way in the bitter cold up to the lodge at the ski area, saying a little silent prayer, "please, in the name of all that is holy, let him have a good time with no lows".

It was Noah's first day of ski club. We planned ahead for every possible mishap and blood glucose scenario. Since the kids get on a bus and go right to the mountain after school, I sent him with a grocery store worth of snacks in his bag.

I hoped that he would remember to take his glucose tabs if he felt low on the mountain, instead of making the long trek to the lodge and his test kit.

Did I triple check his pump to make sure he had enough insulin in there, and battery life was ok?

I made my way through the gazillions of kids and adults, convinced something had gone wrong, and that I would find my son sweaty, pale and panicked from a low.

I heard him before I saw him...laughing that incredibly infectious laugh that I love so much. Standing with a friend and his teacher, skis in hand. Already looking like a pro. His smile was a mile wide, and just seeing that sent my anxiety packing...for that moment all thoughts of diabetes, boluses, basal rates, and carb counts were set aside. For that moment, I saw a happy kid on the brink of a new and exciting adventure, and that made the start of my New Year very bright, indeed.