November 20, 2008


Noah told me he had a dream about someone coming into his room and setting his pump to give him a bunch of insulin. In the dream, he tested his blood sugar and watched as the numbers crept lower, and lower, until the last number he saw was a 5.

I asked him, "then what happened"? He replied, "I died".

I have to admit, it freaked me out so much that a chill ran through me. I thought to myself, "where the heck is this coming from, and what brought it on?" I asked him if he's worried about going low in the night, and maybe that's why he dreamed that, but he said " guys always protect me from everything".

Well, not everything, but we try.

November 5, 2008

A new day in America

"This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time – to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America." - President Elect, Barack Obama.

Yes, history has been made. This campaign has been nothing short of extraordinary, and I am grateful for being able to cast my vote, and for participating in our Nation's unfolding history.

As a diabetes community, this time of transition is more important than ever for us to be active participants in raising awareness about all types of diabetes, and to let our new President know that our goals of education, advocacy, funding research and ultimately finding a cure for diabetes is of paramount importance. It's been proven that we can be heard. Our dedication to our cause can and will be recognized. November is Diabetes Awareness Month, and in just nine days, we will be celebrating World Diabetes Day. I implore us all to take the momentum of change and run with it, by writing, talking, and through our actions.

We have been witness to what can be done when you have a idea that is given a chance to flourish, and a desire for more than the status quo. It certainly is a new day.

November 3, 2008

I better not forget...

Imagine what could happen!

Thanks to my mom for sending me this. Don't be like me. Get out there and vote!

October 16, 2008

One Day.

Noah at Disney World, 2005

I had a dream last night that we were at Disney, and Noah didn't have his pump. Jon and I were frantic. We emptied the suitcases, and looked all over the hotel room, and Noah kept saying "I don't need it today. Today, we're in Disney, and there's no diabetes here."

Pretty weird dream, considering the fact that our family vacation in Disney in 2005, is the time I think about the most as our "BD time"(Before Diabetes). It was before the biggest change in our lives to date, and I think back to that time often. We were so blissfully unaware of what was about to hit us.

I've always said I wanted one of those dream interpretation books, so I can find the hidden meaning behind dreams. The meaning behind this one, I know is a no- brainer.

I want one more BD day.

If you could have one day with no diabetes- that's 24 hours free from testing, boluses, counting carbs, feeling the dizzying lows and headach-ey highs, tubing and syringes- how would you spend your time that day? What would you do? What would you eat? Would you go anywhere special? How do you think it would feel?

October 14, 2008

Abandon Ship?

This subject has come up since day one, when the pediatrician sent us into Boston's Massachusetts General Hospital, we've been asked a million times since that day..."why not Joslin, aren't they the best"? My response is always the same "we went where they told us".

Sounds lame, but we were newbies in the world of type 1 diabetes, and being led on a medical leash was actually a welcome thing in a life that felt like it was spiraling out of control at that particular time 3 short years ago. MGH has been good to us. They taught us a lot. Got us through the "boot camp" phase of parenting and clinical care of a newly diagnosed type 1 child. We love the staff there, they are always available to call you back if there's a problem, and we are incredibly blessed and lucky in geography to be a stone's throw from some of the best medical facilities in the entire country. (wait for the big "but")...

BUT, It's an adjustment when the doctor we've been working with, and getting to know is suddenly gone. Being a teaching program, Noah's on his 4th doctor in 3 years. This past Friday, it happened again. When Noah's name was called, it was by yet another "new" doctor. Introductions and small talk were made as we snaked through the maze of hallways on our way to the exam room. Jon, Noah and I took a collective deep breath and entered .

She was nice enough, I'll give her that. But zero bedside manner, and to me- especially when the doctor is working with children- is a huge problem. As she rifled through tons of paperwork, looking for the one with Noah's pump history printed out on it, I could feel Jon tense up as he sat beside me. She positively grilled us, which is fine- we got a weird feeling from the manner with which it was done. Later, over lunch Jon and I would discuss how we felt like we were in trouble, sitting in the Principal's office , afraid to say the wrong thing that would surely result in detention.

I dunno, it just felt bad and uncomfortable. And they didn't DO anything. I feel like when we speak about certain issues or concerns, there's no feedback. It's frustrating because even though we've been in this life for three years,we know there's always something new to learn. That being said, don't you think some new information, or helpful advice would be offered up from time to time? yeah, I thought so too, but it doesn't happen there. It's situations like Friday, and the switching of doctors over the years that have us wondering if a change from MGH to Joslin might do us some good.

I've always been the kind of person that hates to rock the boat, I don't ever want to offend anyone, but this is my kid's health- heck, his LIFE, at stake here. Why not expect the best? Why not leave no diabetes stone unturned? As parents, I feel we shouldn't allow ourselves to get complacent. We're going to get the wheels in motion for the long overdue switch to Joslin. I'd welcome any advice on what to expect from those of you who have had to break ties with a doctor, or switched from one hospital to another.

On a side note, we had a really great time in Boston after the appointment was over. We did the Boston Duck Tours. It's one of those touristy things you have to do at least once. It was the perfect day for it, and it was educational and fun. Noah even got to steer the duck boat!

October 6, 2008

No laughing during Mass!

Yesterday, the three of us sat in the pew as our pastor gave the few closing announcements after mass. A few rows up, and to the left, I noticed a boy, old enough to know better, with his finger knuckle-deep in his right nostril.
I turned toward Noah, and a horrified thought went through my head- if he sees that kid, it's all over, I'll never get him to stop giggling. How am I going to distract him?
I was too late. Noah's mouth hung open, watching the boy deposit his nose nugget into his mouth.
Nudging Noah with my elbow, I hissed "don't even..." as we both glared. That's when I lost it.
I made such an effort to not laugh. Every second that passed watching this kid was like torture. He just wouldn't stop. As I tried to hold in the snicker rising in my throat, a soft *snort*! escaped me. By now, Noah had tears streaming down his ruddy cheeks and our two sets of shoulders jerked freakishly up and down, as if pulled by some crazy puppeteer. My husband looked at us and moved two steps away, probably convinced that by doing so, he was telling the rest of the parishioners, "I don't even know who these crazy people are".

I won't be getting any awards for being a good influence this week!

September 23, 2008

We go to eleven.

Sunday marked the anniversary of the day I married my best friend- the person who thinks this nerdy girl is cool, who loves so freely and honestly, and who is without a doubt the most supportive and giving person in my life.

Over these past eleven years, we have weathered storms and celebrated huge victories. Shared inside jokes, and personal pain. We've laughed till our stomachs hurt, cried till tears would no longer fall, and held each others hand as we walk together through the very bumpy terrain of life.

I wouldn't change one single moment.

September 19, 2008

The reality of it.

Running away from the whole diabetes thing seems so appealing as of late. I'm sure anyone that's been affected by diabetes in it's many forms can commiserate with me. At around 4:30 the other morning, Noah crawled into bed with us, feeling low. Normally, I don't get worried when he's low- we just go through the motions of testing, juicing and re-checking in a robotic sort of way.

This time though, I could hear a whisper of fear in Noah's sleepy voice as my husband tested his blood glucose (it was tough even getting any blood...his fingers were so cold that morning) first once, only to get an error message, and then again. Not one to usually complain, Noah let down his guard down, and quietly exhaled, "I hate pricking my fingers"...

I hugged him close, and reassured him that it's okay to feel that way from time to time, and that we're so proud of him for putting up with all that he does every day.

Noah's frustration over that morning's testing didn't stay with him for long. He followed through with his day with his usual exuberance, and happiness that I love so much about him, but for me, that sinking sick feeling of not being able to "fix" my child wouldn't stop it's nagging. How I wish I could chase diabetes away, protect him from it, or take it on as my own. He never gets a break. His fingers and pump sites always hurt. He constantly has to plan, and put aside the spontaneity of youth. It worries me when the cracks in Noah's diabetes armor start to show. Even though it's been 3 years and counting, I still feel like like a diabetes newbie, and I don't always know the right things to say or do when it comes to helping him navigate life with d.

How do you push through the rough times?

August 24, 2008

Make your own!

(click picture to make it bigger)
Wordle. Go there and be creative.

August 1, 2008

Yesterday at CVS

Noah animatedly bounces ahead of me, the Tigger to my Pooh-Bear. "Mom, I need mouthwash", he says, brightly.

He grabs his brand as my hands are already full with a few womanly necessities (tampons?- check! razor blades?- TEN BUCKS!!).

Bounding ever further away, he rounds the corner by the pharmacy and stops at the display of the varied blood glucose meters on the shelf and pokes at the buttons.

I finally catch up, still grumbling to myself about the outrageous cost of personal hygiene products, and say to Noah jokingly, "looking to trade up"? We both laugh at our inside D-joke, as a man that was waiting nearby for his prescription interjects,"hey buddy- those aren't Game Boys" (chuckle, chuckle).

I saw a flash of red, and instantly calmed my instinct to snap, "thank you, but he knows that all too well". I smiled and bit my tongue.

Without missing a beat, Noah answered him with, "those are blood glucose monitors, and I'm type 1 diabetic- I have an insulin pump."

The man smiled kindly at Noah and replied "you are very lucky". (chuckle, chuckle again)

I honestly don't know why, but hearing him say that enraged me. LUCKY?! I wanted to scream, "sure, buddy!! If you think lucky is a fucking busted pancreas out of the blue at age six , lancing your fingers until they bleed 10 times a day, having to be woken out of a sound sleep to choke down a juice box, shots, long needles inserted into your ass for a site change every 2 days, cutting activities and recess and sleep -overs short because of site problems and crazy blood sugars, feeling like you're so different from everyone else even though everyone tells you you're not but you're 10 years old and no dummy, yeah if that's lucky, then he's the diabetic with the pot o' gold at the end of the fucking rainbow."

Instead, with my eyes full and shimmering in the fluorescence of CVS, I smiled in return and lied, "yes, he's very lucky"

July 25, 2008

Goodbye, Professor

Even though I was not a student of yours, you taught me so much.

July 24, 2008

Is Barney in charge, here?

We all love the Deltec Cozmo pump. It's super easy to use, and making adjustments is as simple as programming say, a cell phone.

In 26 months since the Florida Incident, we've had zero problems with the pump, until the other day Jon was doing a site change, and noticed a crack in the pump casing. It hasn't affected the way the pump works or anything, but we don't disconnect Noah for swimming, or the beach and that crack would let water in for sure.
I made the call to Smiths Medical, and arranged to have a replacement pump in slate grey sent here next day air.
It arrived yesterday and you would have thought Santa came early! Noah hopped around the kitchen while I undid the tape on the box to reveal...

A purple pump. wah-wah-waaaah.

I had to laugh, because Noah looked so comically offended. His face was a priceless mix of confusion and dibelief that the Cozmo people had overlooked the fact this pump was meant for a macho boy of 10. Even when I called customer service, the nice woman I spoke to chuckled, and said, "oh no, he got the "Barney Purple one"!

Much to Noah's relief, a new pump in a color more suitable to him is on it's way.

July 23, 2008

July in a flash.

3 weekends ago...

The countdown to the preparations for Noah's 10th birthday was on. On that Saturday my mom volunteered to have him for a sleep over so Jon and I could shop for gifts, and have a long overdue date night. His BG had been running on the high side, and correction bolus after correction bolus came and went with not even a downward nudge. By 11 p.m., it was clear that his site was no good. My mom brought him home, and they made a plan for a re-do sleepover the next weekend. It was the first time I've seen Noah cry over his diabetes since his diagnosis, and it was a killer.

2 weekends ago...

We hit the ground running after Noah's endo appointment, and small get together at my grandfather's place to celebrate Noah's birthday on Friday, and picked up speed on Saturday for the 1st Annual New England Diabetes Meetup. Put together beautifully by Bernard , it was a wonderful experience. Jon and I learned alot, and met some incredibly smart, witty, and kind people. We got great advice about everything from diabetes camps to new technology. I can't wait to do it again! It just reinforced for us how amazing and caring this diabetes community is, and having that kind of support available is priceless.

Feeling the good D karma, Noah went off that night to my mom's for "sleepover, take 2". Huge success.

Sunday dawned bright and warm- perfect for the big birthday party. We got down to some fun with friends and family here. I made a ton of food- Jon was the master of the grill (and the master of flinging water balloons) and at the end of the day, our exhausted and excited boy said it was his "best birthday ever"!

1 weekend ago...

It's funny how the most recent of the past 3 weekends is the one that I can barely remember. It was pretty hot and humid, so I plodded through the weekend in a kind of stupor. Noah went blueberry and raspberry picking with my mom on Saturday, and brought back a TON of goodies. That boy can pick some darn good berries, and we've been feasting on these sweet jewels of yummy goodness since.

Sunday, we were off again! My mom, Jon, Noah and I hopped on the train for a trip to the Boston Garden to see Walking With Dinosaurs. We had a great time at this very interesting, educational, sometimes funny and a little scary look at the history and legacy of dinosaurs. We had some time to kill before our departing train, and took a little walking tour of Boston. We were conveniently located right near the New England Aquarium, and who can resist the faces of those cute little harbor seals? Off the four of us went. Being down by the water and breeze made the heat bearable.

Things kind of crumbled after that. To make a long story short, by the time we made it to Quincy Market, we were all hungry, thirsty, tired, had to pee, the temp was 90 with 100% humidity, and there was a thunder storm- forcing us and about 30 other sweaty tourists to cram into a glass vestibule outside the "Cheers" bar and wait it out. That train ride could not come soon enough!

The plan this weekend is to do absolutely nothing.

July 10, 2008

snapshot of a recent morning

Noah got up early the other morning, eager to go to day camp. He hopped up into "his" chair at the breakfast counter. I made him his waffles, and cut up some fruit while he tested.

Like an old guy at bingo, he called out the number: "57"! and then, softly...

"I'm sorry".

"Whoa, dude- never, EVER apologize for a blood sugar, you got that?" I leveled my gaze at him, the way only moms know how to do, to emphasize the seriousness of my tone.

I went on, "unless you've been sneaking Nerds, and Everlasting Gobstoppers, washing it all down with a Wonka Bar, you do not have anything to be sorry about, ok"?

"Ok, mom" he chirped, as I plunked down his waffles.

It occurred to me that he's so eager to please, even with something he (or we) have such insignificant control over. Blood sugar does whatever the hell it wants, even in the best of circumstances. It stung to hear his apology. I hope I set his thinking straight. I hate the thought of him feeling like it's his fault.

July 9, 2008

A puddle of tears.

There's something about those Disney and Pixar animated movies that , for the better part of 3 decades have reduced me to a sniffling, blubbery, crying mess. I distinctly remember going to see The Fox and The Hound when I was a little girl. I was inconsolable for 2 days.

The opening sequence of The Lion King, with all the animals trickling in, and that a chant at first, then swelling to a crescendo as Mufasa shows off Simba for the first time. How could something made of ink and paint fill me with such emotion?

Or, when Dory begs Marlon not to leave..."I look at you...and I'm home. Please, I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget."

We went to see WALL-e for Noah's birthday on Monday. I cried at the beginning, During the middle and at the end. I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it, so I will just say that it is very cute and funny (kids and adults will love it), but there's a couple of really deep messages in this movie that got to me in a way that a movie hasn't done in a long time. It had me digging around my purse for a Kleenex, crying a puddle of tears. Go see it. You'll love it.

July 7, 2008


It seems like just yesterday, I counted to ten.

Ten little perfect fingers and ten tiny, wrinkled toes.

How could that precious life I could hold in the crook of one arm grow so fast?

Ten years of birthday cakes. Blue's Clues, Harry Potter, Star Wars.

It's gone by in a flash.

Ten years of milestones.

Funny faces, skinned knees, croup, making friends, hugs & kisses, bedtime prayers, time-outs, first days of school, talks at the table, days at the beach.

Ten years, and I'm amazed by the person Noah is growing into. He is silly and serious. Compassionate and crazy. Loving, trusting, eager to learn, and wickedly smart.

Ten years ago today, as I held my newborn Noah, I could only imagine the kind of person he was to become. My imagination pales in comparison to the awesome kid Noah is.

I can only imagine what the next ten years will bring.

June 6, 2008

Frozen with fear.

My way home from the gym takes me through the center of town, past Noah's school. Every day, as I drive by, I say a little prayer for a good day for my son. I think about him and hope he's doing OK. Like the movie Groundhog Day, the routine doesn't change. I go home the same way, see the same familiar homes, and make the same wish. Every day.

Today, it was the lights of the ambulance I saw through the rain, as I made my way up the hill towards the school. As it sped toward me, I pulled over and at once my shaking hand went to my gym bag to fish out my cell. My mind was reeling.

It was coming from the direction of school.

Oh God, please don't let it be Noah.

Where's that damn phone.

My searching hand found it's target. I hit the button on the front of my LG to see the familiar picture, and no messages. For good measure I flipped it open and called my home voice mail too. Empty. Thank you, God.

I was completely pulled off the road by now. I put the car in park and wept with my forehead on the steering wheel. The feeling of helplessness and panic that overcame me when I saw those lights was replaced by relief. After a minute, I lifted my head and saw I had pulled over right in front of Noah's school.

I said a little prayer for a good day for my son, and drove home.

June 2, 2008

Cool little product found in my local Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart is a necessary evil in my life. I despise that place, yet I found myself there recently.

On a Saturday afternoon.

The plan was to get in (just TRY to block out that screaming 3 year old), pick up a few much needed things (toilet paper and sunblock!), and get the hell out (check-out lines stretched all the way to the Mass. border) with my sanity intact and maybe with some gas money to spare.

That's when, with my hands full, Noah begged me to go down the aisle with the "beach stuff". Juggling our loot, and with the check out in full view, I sighed heavily, and bid adieu to a quick getaway. "On to the beach stuff", I wearily exclaimed.

Amid the insane amount of swimmies, sand-castle making buckets and shovels, and a gazillion towels emblazoned with Iron Man and Hannah Montana, were these cool little things:

They are meant to protect your keys, ID, cash, or small cell phone from water at the beach or boating. I tend to D-purpose items not specifically created for diabetes, (Noah wears his pump in a cell phone case at night)and saw this case as the perfect place to stash some strips and meter. Although nifty, it's not very big, so I bought 2. They do sell bigger versions of these at places like EMS- I got my dad one for kayaking- but at just under $2.oo apiece, these were a great bargain.

Even if I did have to go to the 7th level of hell to get them.

May 29, 2008

Beachy Keen

I would have posted this sooner, but i have been too burnt/recovering/busy/tired up until now-it's like the first time I've sat down in a week!

On Memorial Day, my mom, Jon, Noah and I went to the beach for the very first time this season (as evidenced by Noah's kind of pasty complexion). It was the most amazingly perfect weather that day. Warm, but not too warm. Windy, blue, bright, salty and sandy.

As an added bonus, the Cozmo held strong through all the digging, boogie boarding, and salty water flung it's way, and we had no problems getting back into our old D-beach routine.

May 16, 2008

Friday Meme.

I've been tagged by the very sweet and hilariously funny, Shannon.

Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names & why you tagged them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment saying “You’re it!” & to go read your blog. You cannot tag the person that tagged you, so since you’re not allowed to tag me back; let me know when you are done so I can go read YOUR weird, random, facts, habits and goals.

1. I worked as a 411 operator for 8 years, and at that job, I got to hear people chewing food in my ear, peeing into the toilet, screaming at the top of their lungs, etc. and, I was called every nasty name in the book. It's amazing how awful people will treat someone when they know they're somewhat anonymous.

2. One of my goals is to become very fit. I want to become a runner- one day making it to the Boston Marathon. Currently, I run at a speed of 6.3 for about 30 seconds for every 10 minutes of walking on the treadmill. So by age 55 or so I should be ready for the starting line.

3. When I was little, after seeing Jaws for the first time, I was paranoid just taking a bath. Even weirder, Jaws is now my favorite movie.

4. I have been mugged. I was living in my first apartment in a crappy part of town, and was approached in broad daylight while walking home from work, punched a couple times in the face, and my jewelry was yanked from around my neck and fingers.

5. One of my favorite things to do is visit Open Houses. I'm not looking for a new home, I have Nosy-Neighboritis. I also love to be in the car at night, and catch a glimpse of the inside of people's houses while riding by. I swear I'm not a stalker- I just like to see your cabinets and decor.

6. When Noah was born, the nurse and doctor at the hospital were giving us our instructions for care before we went home.
Give him a sponge bath - check.
Put diaper cream on - check.
Apply alcohol to the belly button - check.
When we got to the part about the circumcision, I asked "do you put alcohol on that, too?" My husband and the doctor both looked at each other in shear horror, hands automatically dropping protectively to their crotches, as though I threatened to dip their own junk into hot lava... "dear God, no! Whatever you do, don't do that!"

In my defense, 4 days prior I went through 10 hours of labor, 2 hours of pushing to no avail, a scary and urgent c-section, and a morphine drip that I seriously considered smuggling from the hospital. Cut me some slack.

7. I have saved every card, note and letter from my husband.

8. One day, I hope to get the nerve to sing on stage. I've always wanted to be like Ann Wilson from Heart.

9. About a year after High School, my friend Danyel and I got the crazy idea to move to Florida. We crammed my '80 Honda Civic hatchback with as much junk as we could fit, and drove. Our first stop on the way was in Delaware.
We stayed in a place that reminded me so much of the Bates Motel, I would not shower there. I'm convinced there may have been a murder in our room at one point, as there was a large, ominous, dark amoeba-like stain on the ancient carpet. Our night consisted of sitting half asleep in our beds, afraid to come into contact with the bed linens, as a mouse ate through every ounce of food that we brought with us. We went back to Massachusetts the next day.

10. I have a huge goal...I want to live in Ireland one day. Even if it's just for a couple years or so. I love it there.

Members of the OC, I tag you - It's Friday, do a meme! :)

May 12, 2008

My Mother's Day Surprise

Me & my girlie cruiser.

Noah told me he and my husband miss me when they go on their bike rides, and now I won't be left out!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday!

May 6, 2008

Talking Type 1

Find more videos like this on Tu Diabetes - A Community for People Touched by Diabetes

During our meeting in Boston with Manny and Andreina from TuDiabetes, Noah gave a little interview on the Swan Boats. He talks about life with Type 1 diabetes.

May 1, 2008

We spent the day on a movie set.

It's not as exciting or glamorous as the title suggests. This vacation week, we've planned little day trips, and yesterday Noah chose to visit his perfect paradise - the Lego Store at the Burlington Mall (in MA).

We entered the mall through Macy's and it felt like a Twilight Zone episode as the realization crept up on us slowly, that everything surrounding us was dripping with Christmas Decorations. What the...!?!?!

Then we saw the sign:

It was really cool to see a little bit of Hollywood magic, even though we didn't see much action or any celebrities.

Oh, and on a health care/ diabetes note:
Look what they had on the wall in the restroom. I had never seen one outside of the doctors office, and thought it was really cool that it was available to people.
Maybe it's because I have a public bathroom phobia and try not to visit them unless it's a dire emergency, but this is new to me! (And maybe a little too exciting- I mean, I took a picture of the thing! )

April 29, 2008

Discreet But Never Ashamed

Yesterday, I had the perfect opportunity to reinforce some diabetes care etiquette to Noah. Being the first day of spring vacation, and of course it was raining (still is), we went to a really cool place nearby to paint ceramics. We picked out our pieces. Noah chose a sushi plate and I went with a simple bowl. The place was busy and we were lucky to grab a spot, so we sat down and got creative. I knew from the past that during slower times, they don't mind if you bring a snack or light lunch to enjoy while you paint, but seeing how busy it was, I decided to ask if it was ok for Noah to eat his lunch at the table.

I approached one of the ladies working there, and discreetly but with confidence, explained that Noah has type 1 and it would be wonderful if they could help us adhere to our schedule by allowing him to eat at the table.

(Just to clarify, I'm not looking for extra special treatment. I was prepared to leave and come back after lunch time if it was a problem, but it doesn't hurt to ask. "No" is not the end of the world.)

She told us it was no problem, and smiled kindly as she told us, "you eat whatever and whenever you need to" . cool!

So we sat, painted and talked. While Noah waited for his design to dry, he pulled out his lunch bag and test kit. And yes, while the lady and her kids at the table next to us stared open-mouthed, their activity screeched to a halt, he tested his blood glucose.

He's so comfortable testing in public, he sometimes lets it all hang out, bloody fingers and all, and I have to remind him to keep it discreet. I've explained that some people don't care for the sight of blood and needles, so he should think of others feelings. I've also explained to him that even though he should take steps to shield blood from public view, that in no way ever, should he be ashamed of testing in public.

His obliviousness to the stares from the adjacent table shows me that he is confident and that he knows there's no shame in taking care of his Type 1, no matter where or when he needs to test.

April 24, 2008

I love...

I got this over at Jillians. :) The rules: Make a list of your loves. The only catch? You can’t include a single person you know on your list. No “I love the way my husband laughs” or “I love hearing my little girl call for me.” It’ll be tough, I know. But this particular little exercise is about stripping away everyone who defines you and figuring out what you (not his partner; not their mother/daughter/sister/friend) love.

I love everything about the beach.

I love lying on the floor under the Christmas tree.

I love a good cup of coffee (hot and iced).

I love consistently normal blood sugars.

I love Converse All Star sneakers.

I love maki sushi.

I love old buildings and architecture.

I love a warm cat to cuddle with.

I love learning to knit and crochet.

I love helicopter pods that fall from trees.

I love a good joke.

I love painting my toenails.

I love random acts of kindness.

I love wasabi peas.

I love singing and dancing.

I love rain on the roof at night.

I love driving with the windows down and the radio up.

I love ugg slippers.

I love flossing.

I love clean crisp sheets and down comforters.

I love baking.

I love Stephen King books.

I love Hello Kitty.

I love vintage Pyrex vessels.

I love Ireland.

I love food cooked on the grill.

I love to organize.

I love a good cry.

I love the song "Here Comes the Sun"

TuDiabetes crew in Boston!!

Yesterday, my husband Jon, myself and Noah, had a chance to meet up with Manny and his wife, Andreina (the founders of TuDiabetes and the Diabetes Hands Foundation) And Bernard, a fellow Type 1 blogger.

We met Manny and Andreina at their hotel, and after introductions, it was a non-stop flurry of excited conversation about anything and everything. It felt like talking with old friends that we'd known for years.

We decided to go see the Public Gardens (Swan Boats!) and on our way, we saw this:

Zero carb cupcakes?? They will either be a miracle or taste nasty. Off we went across the street to check it out.

I paused to take that picture while everyone else headed into the shop. In a split second, they came filing back out, laughing. " T-SHIRTS"!, they said. Well, that's one way to offer a zero carb, zero fat cupcake- omit cupcake and replace with t-shirt.

When we got to the gardens, and it was beautiful- everything was starting to bloom, and we took a ride on the Swan Boats, where Noah recorded his very first video interview with Manny. Noah thought it was super cool to be interviewed, and was happy to be on camera.

Bernard found his was to us in the park, and it was so cool to see the bond that he and Manny have. I introduced him to Noah as "the gadget man" - he showed Noah his CGMs (yes, 2 of them!) and how they worked. He really knows his stuff, and we plan to see him again at one of the pumpers meetings in MA sometime soon.

We all continued to walk and fall back into that easy conversation, and it hit me that here we were- this group of people plucked from different places geographically, but with a common bond that makes us instantly understand each other through Type 1. A mixed blessing, but a blessing nonetheless.
We stopped for a quick coffee and had to say goodbye to Manny and Andreina - I think we made them late for a meeting. (sorry guys!) We got a chance to chat a bit longer with Bernard about family, life and diabetes.

I am proud and happy to have met the most warm, friendly, smart, and caring people yesterday-we made some incredible new friendships, and Noah was given a chance to learn from people who don't just live with diabetes, but thrive with it.

April 21, 2008

Great News!!

Noah was part of a project last year to raise awareness about diabetes called "Word In Your Hand". About a month ago, our friend Manny Hernandez, founder of, asked if Noah's image from that project could be used in an awareness/advertising campaign with LifeScan, makers of OneTouch glucose meters. Today is the very first day of that campaign.

Click to watch the video (Noah is pictured early on, and his hand word is stress)

This news comes in tandem with the exciting announcement of a partnership between TuDiabetes and OneTouch which is explained in detail here.

I'm super excited about this- not only because Noah is a part of it, but because it will help bring more people with diabetes to a wonderfully helpful, educational and vibrant community.

April 17, 2008

Randy Pausch

"Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things."-Professor Randy Pausch

Last week, my husband and I watched as Diane Sawyer interviewed Randy Pausch on TV. He's a professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon who delivered his "last lecture" called Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams, in September 2007.

I had never heard this man's name before. I almost changed the channel but something stopped me. Maybe it was the video of him playing with his daughter...her two tiny feet planted safely in his palm as he balanced her precariously on an outstretched arm, as they both laughed.

So I kept watching. Turns out Randy has terminal pancreatic cancer, with maybe 6 months of good health remaining. In the footage they showed from his lecture, he talked about it openly but briefly, and with a tone of hope and strength. Not despair. I was instantly drawn in by that sense of strength, his dedication to his family, and his humor.

After watching the show, I went on YouTube to see the lecture in it's entirety, and came away with a new attitude and game plan towards the many challenges in my own life. I approach Noah's diabetes-related hills and valleys in better stride now. I try to acknowledge the bad and move on instead of dwelling on it, and I hope Noah will follow that example and learn in his own way. Not giving so much voice to fear has made my whole family happier. I try to remember Randy's brick wall statement as a sort of mantra, and it has given me motivation in times when giving up was a much easier and more appealing road.

If you have a little time to spare, listen to this amazing guy speak. His exuberance for really living life is contagious.

April 16, 2008

Dear Noah,

Thank you for my breakfast this morning! It was so thoughtful and special of you to make coffee and pick out the perfect granola bar. I'm such a lucky mom. Don't grow up, ok?
Love & Kisses,

April 14, 2008

Raise Your Voice for Type 1 Diabetes

Noah's diagnosis day is a blur. Sure, I can go back through loads of paperwork to find the exact day, but off the top of my head I don't know the exact date of diagnosis. I think it's better that way. It's not a happy occasion, like a birthday or wedding anniversary. It's a day I'd love to bury in the back of my mind. Impossible. It's the day I thought my child would be taken from me. It's the day that a cloud of despair fell dark and heavy over our lives. Yes, most details of that day are fuzzy- but a few stand out clearly in my memory and if I close my eyes, it's like watching it replay on a movie screen...

Spring, 2005

In the morning Noah is crying. He comes into my room and tells me he's wet the bed again. It's the third time this week.

More, water please mom? I'm so thirsty.

Our good friend mentions the word diabetes, after we told him that Noah's been having accidents. I call the doctor the next day and we go in for tests.

The pediatrician calls us early in the morning, telling us to go directly to Boston, and that Noah will be in good hands.

Sitting in the cafeteria, all I could do was stare at Noah's hospital bracelet.

I bought a notebook at the gift shop, and filled it that day. I still have it.

The realization of what we were up against when they tested Noah's blood sugar the first time. He didn't just cry. He flipped out. It was too much for a little kid. It was too much for us. I wanted to scoop him up and run away.

I didn't cry.

That's what I remember most about that time. I was too busy learning and doing what would keep Noah alive and well and healthy.

I remember another day, too. A better day. The day when I realized that we are doing all right by our son. It was in the summer. Mere months after his diagnosis, and I overheard him explaining diabetes to one of his cousins. "I wish I didn't have it, but it's no big deal", he said.

The tears finally came, and with them came a kind of peace - a knowledge that everything would be ok. That diabetes is strong and stubborn, but it is no match for what we can dish out.

April 10, 2008

Feelin' Good

MB on the big screen

Tuesday night, my mom and I went to that Michael Buble concert I mentioned before. We had a blast. He puts on an awesome show, and is so funny, charming, and totally dreamy.

Too bad the guy next to us didn't think so.

We had seats on the floor with a nice view of the stage. Because we were early getting settled in our seats, we struck up a conversation with a very nice woman sitting next to my mom. We shared stories about different trip we've all taken, and concerts we've been to. The woman's husband joined her while we were talking, and the opening act came out. He ended up switching seats with his wife and was next to my mom at that point.
The opener was a group of guys called "Naturally 7". They were really amazing and talented singers, in addition to that though, they "played" all the instruments with their voices. One guy did the drum sounds, another guy did bass, etc. it was incredible!! They got a deserved and crazy loud standing ovation. (check out the video below)

Once their set was over, there was a short pause, and the lights came up. That's when he started- they guy next to my mom. He was in a near-rage: "what was that crap?... Oh, boy...was that crap!... I will NEVER see a Michael Buble concert again if this is the kind of nonsense he's going to open with...I couldn't even understand a word".

My mom and I just looked at each other, astonished. Picture this guy- head on a swivel, shouting his displeasure to anyone within earshot, and NOBODY agreeing with him. ha!! He went on like that for what seemed like an eternity, finally dropping down to a grumble.

Michael Buble took the stage, and Mister Nastypants actually cracked a half-smile: "THAT'S more like it".

Michael sang a couple of songs, then addressed the crowd in his charming way:
"How's everyone doing tonight? How'd you all like Naturally 7? Weren't they great?"

We all cheered our approval, and then in that instant during a quiet lull, our guy yelled in a booming voice that no doubt carried over the heads of the crowd, right up to the stage:

We and everyone around us were completely horrified, and I felt so badly for his wife- the nice and pleasant woman we enjoyed talking to earlier was obviously embarrassed. She had been so excited to see this show, and her husband was putting a black mark on that for her. Poor lady. They ended up leaving halfway through the show.

We didn't let Mister Nastypants ruin it for us, and had an awesome time! We even ran down the center aisle for the encore, and got super close. I got a nice bit of video but it's stuck on my phone!

Mom & Me waiting for MB

Here's the viedo of the opening act, Naturally 7. That heckler guy was off his rocker.
So incredibly cool! Naturally 7:

March 28, 2008

Spring Dream

I dream of sitting in the sun, letting it warm my face and paint my skin rosy.

I long to throw open windows with aplomb and enjoy the tranquil dance of wind and curtain.

I crave the breathtaking magenta pop of cherry blossoms on my gorgeous tree.

I desire the enjoyment of lounging in the driveway with a good book, and invisible bicycle circles traced 'round me.

I need to hear the bright peals of laughter from play on a warm spring afternoon.

9 days into spring

March 27, 2008

Faith and Science

Most of us have heard this recent news story about parents choosing prayer instead of medical treatment. It was a topic of our dinner conversation tonight. I believe in the power of prayer, but as my husband put it, you have to pray and have faith but "meet God halfway". It reminds me of a story I 've heard alot over the years:

A flood came and a man had to climb onto the roof of his house. As the waters rose a neighbor in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof, "the Lord will save me." Then a firefighter appeared in a speedboat. "Climb in!" shouted the firefighter. "No," replied the man on the roof, "The Lord will save me." A helicopter appeared and the pilot shouted that he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof, "the Lord will save me." Eventually the man drowned and went to heaven, where he asked God why He hadn't helped him. "I sent a neighbor, a firefighter, and helicopter," said God. "What more do you want?"

I can't imagine the pain and sorrow these parents must be going through, but if there ever was a time for prayer, it's now.

March 25, 2008

I have a date.

My mom got us tickets!!! He's so dreamy...
I know, I sound like I'm 12.

March 18, 2008

Everything was going so well.

Something major is going on, but I'm so afraid to post about it. It has to do with a problem at school, but I don't want to get certain people in trouble. You never know who's reading. All I can say is there is someone giving us shit about in class testing.

I never expected to hit such a roadblock, especially with the effort so many people have put into making testing as safe as possible.

It's being taken care of, but man am I angry and hurt.

March 12, 2008

You know that song...

...Next thing you know

Shawty got low low low low low low low low...

All the kids are listening to that song these days so it's only natural that it's running through my head like a soundtrack since last night when Noah's blood sugars dropped and refused to come up. Between 9 pm and 1 this morning, this is what he went through.


74-juice and glucose tabs

51- juice and a packet of smartees

He finally came up to a reasonable number and was able to get some sleep, but it was a weird and unexpected trend and completely out of the blue. He usually flies a bit on the high side after treating a low, so for it not to come up was frustrating. I'm so thankful he is aware of his lows - that is something positive I can at least hang on to, because it's easy to get discouraged in dealing with these unexplainable happenings of this disease.

March 10, 2008

Revisiting the Past

I was in Target last week in the book section, not looking for anything in particular. I picked up a random book here and there, scanning the back cover quickly and putting it back when my hand hovered over: "Please Stop Laughing at Me..." by Jodee Blanco. The words " bullying..." on the cover immediately rang true for me. I sucked in a breath of nervous air and picked it up and opened to somewhere in the middle.

I might as well have been reading from my journal from when I was 12. So much of what Jodee writes about in this book happened to me too. She told of kids cramming fist fulls of snow into her mouth...for me it was playground wood chips. She had cruel notes passed to her during class, as did I. The similarities took me back to a time in my life that I so desperately would love to forget but that I think about way too often. As I read the book over this past weekend, I thought of my sweet son. Only 9, but bullied far too much already.

When Noah was first diagnosed with Type 1 in 2005, he was on injections and flew under the "weirdness radar" so to speak. He went to the nurse for everything, and the kids in his class were none the wiser. He was well liked and had friends in school.

Last year he went on the pump. For us it was a step up to tighter control of blood glucose, and more freedom for Noah. For the kids at school it put Noah in a new category and labeled him weird. They had visual proof that he was not like everyone else. Bullying started. I know kids are afraid of what they don't know, and as a result tend to make fun as a means to cope. They didn't tease him about the pump, or diabetes though. It was as if that one little difference caught their attention, and that's all it took, really. They got on his case about anything and everything. From the sneakers on his feet to telling him "your parents don't even love you". A few kids on the bus threatened him daily. One boy went so far as to tell Noah he was going to shoot him in the head with his bow and arrow.

The stress of it all got to Noah. His grades suffered, and he became an emotional mess but more importantly his blood glucose was all over the place. (It's well known stress can wreak havoc on blood sugars). It broke my heart and my husband was livid. This kid who was so easy going, and never once complained about going through the changes of being a person with Type 1 was showing some major cracks in his armor. It eventually eased up but we had to do some ranting in the process. After realizing this was more than a boys will be boys thing, we worked with the school and they helped in a huge way. I'm grateful for that. When I was a kid being bullied right in front of the recess monitors while they smoked their Parliament 100's and did nothing was the norm. You were labeled a tattletale back then if you made so much as a peep.

I'm glad for the chance to go back and revisit how I felt as a kid in school. One thing Jodee's book made me realize is that I hang on to those insecurities and fears way too much for a 34 year old. What kind of example am I setting? At some point I have to get over it and believe in ME...not other people's view of me. I know that Noah will look to me for cues in how to handle bullying and other struggles in his life, and that I'll have to make good on my own advice.

February 26, 2008

Diabetes in the jungle.

Yesterday was the first day of spring (ha!) vacation, and Noah picked what he wanted to do- visit the Lego store.

Legos are his ultimate favorite toy ever. His imagination just goes crazy with them, and he can put together the coolest things. Plus, it's way better than sitting around playing video games all day, so off we went down to Massachusetts to a mall way nicer than our regular mall, 45 minutes away.

You can see how cool the Lego place is...

I planned on taking him to the Rainforest Cafe for lunch as a surprise. They sat us down, and we passed the time looking at the fish in the huge fish tank right by our seat, and discussing the environment. A half hour went by, and still no server. I didn't realize it right away, because we were having such a nice time just hanging out together. I let someone know, and the manager came over and couldn't have been nicer- apparently we were sat at a table that they don't normally use. Normally, I would have been pretty angry and probably would have walked out, but this mishap afforded Noah and me a time to hang out, have a nice conversation and really connect as mother and son.

Our server (who was so super nice) noticed Noah entering a bolus into his pump. She said "oh, you have a pump! my sister has a pump, too - cool".

Noah beamed and got all excited to show off his pump, and so we struck up a conversation about pumping and diabetes, and you could tell Noah was just so happy to make that connection. It was especially cool to have a waitress plunk down a big dessert (free of charge because of the mix up) and say "dude, you're going to have to do a BIG bolus for this one".

February 21, 2008

Stranded and rescued, all before 9 a.m.

Snow is coming, and in New England you know what that means: get your ass to the grocery store a.s.a.p., and beat down all the little old ladies to stock up on milk and bread.
I decided to go early and avoid the crowd. I got front row parking! woot! As I shopped, my stress level was zero. No line at the deli. No screaming kids. I practically had the store to myself. Awesome.
I smiled and headed to the checkout and then home...
except when I got to my car, there were my keys sitting neatly on the passenger seat, next to my gloves.


Thankfully, my husband dropped everything and came with fob in hand to resuce me. (We tried that thing where you hold the fob to the phone and press it while the locked-out person hold their phone up to the car- urban myth or whatever- I felt like a fool.)

He is the best! Thanks babe!

Now that I've had a cup of coffee, and gotten my head together, I can relax with the Crazy Eights meme from Kerri

8 Things I’m Passionate About.
1. My family.
2. Love.
3. knitting and crocheting.
4. Music.
5. diabetes education and advocacy.
6. the beach.
7. good books.
8. cooking.

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die.
1. Live in Ireland.
2. Sing and act on stage.
3. Become a photographer.
4. Run the Boston Marathon.
5. Face my fears.
6. Volunteer at Habitat for Humanity.
7. Ride in a hot air balloon.
8. Visit Japan.

8 Things I Say Often.
1. "I want to go back to bed."
2. "Do you have your kit?."
3. "double-ewe tee eff?."
4. "Love ya, baby"
5. "hey sugar."
6. "Aw duuude."
7. "That is the shizz!"
8. "Hurry up, or you'll miss the bus!"

8 Books I’ve Read Recently.
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows J.K. Rowling
2. Some James Patterson book about a beach ...I didn't like it.
3. The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer
4. Never Give Up by Tedy Bruschi and Michael Holley

Since I've been learning to knit and crochet, I've been reading less. I'll catch up when I'm on the beach in a few more months!

8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over.
1. One - U2
2. Everlong- Foo Fighters
3. Paul Revere- Beastie Boys
4. Ants Marching- Dave Matthews Band
5. Barracuda- Heart
6. Hallelujah- Rufus Wainwright
7. Jambalaya (On the Bayou)- Harry Connick Jr.
8. Shoes- Kelly

8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friends.
1. They always have my back.
2. They bring the funny.
3. They're not fake or phony.
4. They're forgiving.
5. They are like family.
6. They are kind-hearted.
7. They are fun to be with.
8. They are understanding.

People I Think Should Do Crazy 8s.
1. Anyone! It's fun :)

by the way, my spell checker feature isn't working here on Blogger. Anyone else having that problem?

February 14, 2008

Hug someone you love.

Last night, we watched Super Nanny. Yes, we watch crappy reality shows. Don't judge me, ha! ;)

The mom on the show was completely clueless and devoid of emotion with her kids. It seemed like she gave up on being a mother. It was pretty painful to watch her flounder and literally hide from her children during the day, to avoid interacting with them.

So, one of the kids on the show, her 12 year old daughter, says she can't remember the last time her mother hugged her.

My husband and I just looked at each other with tears in our eyes. We spent the remainder of the show talking about how we couldn't imagine not hugging Noah or interacting with him. In the end, the mother came around, but it was so heartbreaking. It made me wonder about what that does to a child's self esteeem in the long run.

So, not only on Valentine's Day, but every day- show the people in your life how much you love them. Throw your arms around them and squeeze!

February 8, 2008

NyQuil Haiku

The plague has hit me

sweet relief in a small cup

down the hatch and...sleep

Yep. Sick with a cold that has me feeling exactly like those people in the commercial that have huge inflated balloons for a head. The perfect frosting for the shit cake that has been this week.

This pretty much sums it up:

(warning- offensive language. usage of words like clusterfuck, New York, Manning,

have a great weekend everyone... ;)

February 7, 2008

Fill er' up.

I have always been a "glass half empty" person. Sometimes, the smallest inconvenience can send me into a crying, shouting frenzy of panic and anger. So not cool.

I realize that's not the best way to live, so recently, I have been on a personal quest to learn to chill, and enjoy life to the fullest. So many things have happened in the past couple years that make life appear as less enjoyable, never ending drudgery. Learning to adjust my thinking - not to automatically assume or expect the worst in life has been tough. It's as if it's engrained into us as a society that bitching and moaning about life is more acceptible than loving life. That somehow, if you're truly happy and you want to share that with others, you're a fake and a phony. I'm beginning to see that is the furthest thing from the truth.

What I'm finding out, is that it's imperative to my well-being and that of everyone around me, to be enthusiastic, content, adventurous and fearless. That in becoming a "glass half FULL" person, I will bring that fullness into all areas of my life, and to all the people I care about. Like emotional osmosis.

We'll all be able to handle whatever comes our way- whether it includes combatting type 1, the rising cost of gas, impending teenage will all be embraced with optimism and a knowledge that it will make me, him & us stronger.

February 5, 2008

How did the accident happen?

Yesterday, as I stood in my kitchen chugging water after just getting home from the gym, the phone rang.

My stomach did a little flip-flop when I glanced at the caller ID, and saw the school nurse's number on the screen.

Apparently my son thinks he's Evel Knievel and fell off the monkey bars while doing a "stunt". The nurse said that even though the cut on his ear was not large, it was still bleeding , and was deep enough to possibly warrant a suture.

Why do these things always happen when I'm completely disheveled??- at least I wasn't still in my pajamas. I showered (barely) and ran to collect my son. He was grinning from ear to ear as he told me of his incredible acrobatics, and the patch of ice that foiled his perfect landing off the monkey bars.

I tried calling the doctor's office, while simultaneously driving there, and they were at lunch. Noone was in the office (how can that be??) so my only option was to just show up.
We ended up in the waiting room for an hour. :P

Our doctor patched him stitches were needed. He asked Noah how the diabetes was going , and if he liked his pump- and that was it. Took all of 5 minutes. He has some steri-strip tape holding it closed , and he can't get it wet for 4 days. I'm wondering how he'll wash his hair?

I'm glad he's okay, and it wasn't a broken bone or something. His sense of humor is completely intact, as evidenced by his comment on the way home:

"I'm like Van Gogh, now."

February 4, 2008

Tom Petty was cool...

I'm so bummed. My Patriots lost, but I am and will always be a devoted fan. I love my team. Till next season, guys.

I blame the red sweatshirt.

January 30, 2008

Slacker and the big mistake

Yes, it's been quite a while since my last post here. Alot has happened since then.

The Patriots won the AFC Championship, and are set to win the Superbowl this Sunday! (GO PATS!)

I have lost a total of 5.5 lbs, and have made strides at the gym. (GO ME!!)

Today is Noah's 4th skiing lesson, and he will be graduating to the chair lift. In addition to that, he's been managing his blood glucose beautifully, both on and off the slopes. (GO NOAH!!!)

On the the risk of sounding like a total idiot, here's the story of what happened when my mom had Noah overnight so my husband and I could go out on a hot date. Yes, a real date with a movie and dinner and staying out late and a martini...

Ok, so on to the stupid thing I did:

My mom and I were planning Noah's dinner carbs for the evening and I wrote down measurements and counts for the chicken,broccoli & ziti she was planning to make.
"Is this pasta measurement for dry or cooked"? my mom asked.

"huh? It's the same, right"? I replied, uneasily. My mother is my family's Martha Stewart, and it automatically made me nervous that I didn't have the food knowledge she wanted to hear.

"The's 1/2 cup dry, right?" now she's grabbing her glasses and the box to check.

"Mom, I don't have a clue. It's ziti, so it doesn't change it's shape or anything so I just assumed...."
I couldn't even finish. Most of the time, I can laugh at my mistakes and brush it off as a lesson learned, but not this time. This time was about my kid, and his health. I knew that what I had been doing all along was wrong, and it hit me in such a weird way. I started to cry and got mad at myself. How stupid am I that I don't know things like that practically double in size when they cook? I thought back to all the dinners and the carbs I counted incorrectly, and felt like ...

a failure.

"Now you know", my mom said. I immediately snapped out of it. Those 3 words meant so much.

They didn't just mean "now you know", they meant: "all good moms make mistakes", and "you do a good job, you can't be perfect all the time".

Thanks mom, for saying all the right things.

January 4, 2008

Fresh Powder

I made my way in the bitter cold up to the lodge at the ski area, saying a little silent prayer, "please, in the name of all that is holy, let him have a good time with no lows".

It was Noah's first day of ski club. We planned ahead for every possible mishap and blood glucose scenario. Since the kids get on a bus and go right to the mountain after school, I sent him with a grocery store worth of snacks in his bag.

I hoped that he would remember to take his glucose tabs if he felt low on the mountain, instead of making the long trek to the lodge and his test kit.

Did I triple check his pump to make sure he had enough insulin in there, and battery life was ok?

I made my way through the gazillions of kids and adults, convinced something had gone wrong, and that I would find my son sweaty, pale and panicked from a low.

I heard him before I saw him...laughing that incredibly infectious laugh that I love so much. Standing with a friend and his teacher, skis in hand. Already looking like a pro. His smile was a mile wide, and just seeing that sent my anxiety packing...for that moment all thoughts of diabetes, boluses, basal rates, and carb counts were set aside. For that moment, I saw a happy kid on the brink of a new and exciting adventure, and that made the start of my New Year very bright, indeed.