Goodbye, Professor

Even though I was not a student of yours, you taught me so much.

Is Barney in charge, here?

We all love the Deltec Cozmo pump. It's super easy to use, and making adjustments is as simple as programming say, a cell phone.

In 26 months since the Florida Incident, we've had zero problems with the pump, until the other day Jon was doing a site change, and noticed a crack in the pump casing. It hasn't affected the way the pump works or anything, but we don't disconnect Noah for swimming, or the beach and that crack would let water in for sure.
I made the call to Smiths Medical, and arranged to have a replacement pump in slate grey sent here next day air.
It arrived yesterday and you would have thought Santa came early! Noah hopped around the kitchen while I undid the tape on the box to reveal...

A purple pump. wah-wah-waaaah.

I had to laugh, because Noah looked so comically offended. His face was a priceless mix of confusion and dibelief that the Cozmo people had overlooked the fact this pump was meant for a macho boy of 10. Even when I called customer service, the nice woman I spoke to chuckled, and said, "oh no, he got the "Barney Purple one"!

Much to Noah's relief, a new pump in a color more suitable to him is on it's way.

July in a flash.

3 weekends ago...

The countdown to the preparations for Noah's 10th birthday was on. On that Saturday my mom volunteered to have him for a sleep over so Jon and I could shop for gifts, and have a long overdue date night. His BG had been running on the high side, and correction bolus after correction bolus came and went with not even a downward nudge. By 11 p.m., it was clear that his site was no good. My mom brought him home, and they made a plan for a re-do sleepover the next weekend. It was the first time I've seen Noah cry over his diabetes since his diagnosis, and it was a killer.

2 weekends ago...

We hit the ground running after Noah's endo appointment, and small get together at my grandfather's place to celebrate Noah's birthday on Friday, and picked up speed on Saturday for the 1st Annual New England Diabetes Meetup. Put together beautifully by Bernard , it was a wonderful experience. Jon and I learned alot, and met some incredibly smart, witty, and kind people. We got great advice about everything from diabetes camps to new technology. I can't wait to do it again! It just reinforced for us how amazing and caring this diabetes community is, and having that kind of support available is priceless.

Feeling the good D karma, Noah went off that night to my mom's for "sleepover, take 2". Huge success.

Sunday dawned bright and warm- perfect for the big birthday party. We got down to some fun with friends and family here. I made a ton of food- Jon was the master of the grill (and the master of flinging water balloons) and at the end of the day, our exhausted and excited boy said it was his "best birthday ever"!

1 weekend ago...

It's funny how the most recent of the past 3 weekends is the one that I can barely remember. It was pretty hot and humid, so I plodded through the weekend in a kind of stupor. Noah went blueberry and raspberry picking with my mom on Saturday, and brought back a TON of goodies. That boy can pick some darn good berries, and we've been feasting on these sweet jewels of yummy goodness since.

Sunday, we were off again! My mom, Jon, Noah and I hopped on the train for a trip to the Boston Garden to see Walking With Dinosaurs. We had a great time at this very interesting, educational, sometimes funny and a little scary look at the history and legacy of dinosaurs. We had some time to kill before our departing train, and took a little walking tour of Boston. We were conveniently located right near the New England Aquarium, and who can resist the faces of those cute little harbor seals? Off the four of us went. Being down by the water and breeze made the heat bearable.

Things kind of crumbled after that. To make a long story short, by the time we made it to Quincy Market, we were all hungry, thirsty, tired, had to pee, the temp was 90 with 100% humidity, and there was a thunder storm- forcing us and about 30 other sweaty tourists to cram into a glass vestibule outside the "Cheers" bar and wait it out. That train ride could not come soon enough!

The plan this weekend is to do absolutely nothing.

snapshot of a recent morning

Noah got up early the other morning, eager to go to day camp. He hopped up into "his" chair at the breakfast counter. I made him his waffles, and cut up some fruit while he tested.

Like an old guy at bingo, he called out the number: "57"! and then, softly...

"I'm sorry".

"Whoa, dude- never, EVER apologize for a blood sugar, you got that?" I leveled my gaze at him, the way only moms know how to do, to emphasize the seriousness of my tone.

I went on, "unless you've been sneaking Nerds, and Everlasting Gobstoppers, washing it all down with a Wonka Bar, you do not have anything to be sorry about, ok"?

"Ok, mom" he chirped, as I plunked down his waffles.

It occurred to me that he's so eager to please, even with something he (or we) have such insignificant control over. Blood sugar does whatever the hell it wants, even in the best of circumstances. It stung to hear his apology. I hope I set his thinking straight. I hate the thought of him feeling like it's his fault.

A puddle of tears.

There's something about those Disney and Pixar animated movies that , for the better part of 3 decades have reduced me to a sniffling, blubbery, crying mess. I distinctly remember going to see The Fox and The Hound when I was a little girl. I was inconsolable for 2 days.

The opening sequence of The Lion King, with all the animals trickling in, and that music...like a chant at first, then swelling to a crescendo as Mufasa shows off Simba for the first time. How could something made of ink and paint fill me with such emotion?

Or, when Dory begs Marlon not to leave..."I look at you...and I'm home. Please, I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget."

We went to see WALL-e for Noah's birthday on Monday. I cried at the beginning, During the middle and at the end. I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it, so I will just say that it is very cute and funny (kids and adults will love it), but there's a couple of really deep messages in this movie that got to me in a way that a movie hasn't done in a long time. It had me digging around my purse for a Kleenex, crying a puddle of tears. Go see it. You'll love it.

Ten

It seems like just yesterday, I counted to ten.

Ten little perfect fingers and ten tiny, wrinkled toes.

How could that precious life I could hold in the crook of one arm grow so fast?

Ten years of birthday cakes. Blue's Clues, Harry Potter, Star Wars.

It's gone by in a flash.

Ten years of milestones.

Funny faces, skinned knees, croup, making friends, hugs & kisses, bedtime prayers, time-outs, first days of school, talks at the table, days at the beach.

Ten years, and I'm amazed by the person Noah is growing into. He is silly and serious. Compassionate and crazy. Loving, trusting, eager to learn, and wickedly smart.

Ten years ago today, as I held my newborn Noah, I could only imagine the kind of person he was to become. My imagination pales in comparison to the awesome kid Noah is.

I can only imagine what the next ten years will bring.